Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Mom, How Much Did You Pay For Me?

Yes, you read that title right!  Monday evening Brusselsprout was at work and the girls and I were eating dinner.  One of the girls ( I will leave her nameless) out of the blue said, "Mom, how much did you pay for me?"  I said, "We paid nothing for you but promised to love you and care for you!  You are a gift from God!"  I explained that we gave a donation to her orphanage to give back for the care, food and everything they gave her the first 8 months of her life.  This will help them to care for another child.  I also explained that the adoption process has fees and of course we pay to fly to China and stay in a hotel for two weeks but for her... we paid nothing.

I then asked her, "Why do you ask, honey?"  She said, "One of my classmates asked me."  That is when my heart broke!  It broke that a classmate would ask her how much was paid for her.  I apologized to her for the classmate's ignorance and she replied, "It's ok Mom, I wasn't offended."

I understand the curiosity and the honest ignorance of people that have not dealt with adoption.  I also believe it is my job to help educate people on this topic due to the lack of understanding.  None the less, my heart still broke, that my precious daughter was asked a question to me that seemed so cold.

I feel incredibly blessed to be parenting these six wonderful girls and cannot believe that God selected me, yes me, for this blessing that gives back to me so much each and every day!


tconlan said...

ugh!! that hurts my heart. Your response was perfect and I'm glad that she wasn't upset by the question.

Aus said...

Awww sweetie - I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard that question asked. Feel free to dump this comment if you want to - I won't be offended - but this question is the one that always "gets me"...

I've gotten it from several people over the years - sometimes out of ignorance (in which case my reply was generally the "look of death"). Occasionally I've gotten it just because they were curious and asked the question poorly - in fact - what they were honestly trying to ask was how much the adoption process cost because they were honesly considering adoption. In those cases they would get a gentle look and correction to the properly phrased question.

And sometimes - depending on my mood - I go for humor "The child was free but the shipping and handling were a #$%^&!" Yeah - not for a child to say, but it has the zing of the LOD but not the rudeness!

But most of all I'd like to remind you that y'all are doing a wonderful job raising well adjusted kids! For - just in case you missed it - your daughter wasn't offended. She.wasn't.offended. Wow - that's extremely cool, kind, and Christlike!

Nice work y'all - really nice work!

hugs - aus and co.

Reena said...

Sigh-- we all know it is going to happen at some point . . . and then it does.

I had an encounter with a person who asked about the cost as well-- he was a much older adult adoptee who was curious about how the process had changed.